OP
Da_Wiinner
SPAZALASTIC!
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- Thread starter
- #16
lol good one
The Wiichat comedy club
- Thread starter Da_Wiinner
- Start date
7/10 for the last joke.
Its a bit blue mine so be warned!!
A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a pussy cat. He goes up the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat."
The unlikely trio find a table, sit down and drink their drinks. Next, it's the ostrich's round. He walks up to the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat." Then the ostrich takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them. When it comes to the cat's turn to buy a round, he simply tells his pals to "Sod off!"
So the man goes back to the bar and asks for another two beers and a whisky.
Impressed at his generosity, the barman says: "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why do you hang out with him?"
The man replies: "I once helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish, which landed me with the cat and the ostrich forever."
"What did you wish for?" enquires the barman.
"A long-legged bird with a tight pussy…"
Its a bit blue mine so be warned!!
A man walks into a pub with an ostrich and a pussy cat. He goes up the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat."
The unlikely trio find a table, sit down and drink their drinks. Next, it's the ostrich's round. He walks up to the bar and says: "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat." Then the ostrich takes the drinks back to the table and they drink them. When it comes to the cat's turn to buy a round, he simply tells his pals to "Sod off!"
So the man goes back to the bar and asks for another two beers and a whisky.
Impressed at his generosity, the barman says: "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why do you hang out with him?"
The man replies: "I once helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish, which landed me with the cat and the ostrich forever."
"What did you wish for?" enquires the barman.
"A long-legged bird with a tight pussy…"
OP
Da_Wiinner
SPAZALASTIC!
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- Thread starter
- #18
so 3 men are stranded on a deserted island and the find a magic lamp the guine comes out and grants them each a wish one wishes he could go gamble in LasVegas the second wishes to go his wife and children and the last one gets loanly and wishes for those to guys to come back.
kiraownsurmom
Man Points: Over 9000
3 explorers are captured by natives. The chief tells them to go out and bring 3 of the same fruit. The 1st and 2nd explorer come back and theyre told they are to put the fruits they got in their butts and not laugh or theyll be eaten. The 1st explorer has apples and laughs as he puts them in and is killed. The 2nd has blueberries, he puts 2 in and laughes. In heaven the 1st explorer asks "Why did you laugh you almost made it?" the 2nd explorer replys "I know but i saw John coming back with pineapples."
- Heard this when i was in like 4th grade.
- Heard this when i was in like 4th grade.
Marioman
Locke likes oranges
Wow where did you go to school...I thought I was the only one that knew that jokekiraownsurmom said:
10/10 ROFL!!:lol: EDIT: @kiraownsyourmom
are racist jokes allowed?(im not racist, i just think its funny)
A two engine plane loses an engine, and cant handle the weight of the passengers.The captain says "We have to throw some people off so we can stay in the air. We'll go alphabetically by race"
"Are there any African Americans aboard?"
nobody says anything
"OK, are there any black people aboard?"
still no reply
"Are there any colored people aboard?"
nobody answers the pilot
a little black boy asks his dad "Daddy, aren't we all three of those?"
his dad says "No, son. Today, we're niggers; the Mexicans are going first."
@andthen: 9/10
can anyone say michael jackson?
are racist jokes allowed?(im not racist, i just think its funny)
A two engine plane loses an engine, and cant handle the weight of the passengers.The captain says "We have to throw some people off so we can stay in the air. We'll go alphabetically by race"
"Are there any African Americans aboard?"
nobody says anything
"OK, are there any black people aboard?"
still no reply
"Are there any colored people aboard?"
nobody answers the pilot
a little black boy asks his dad "Daddy, aren't we all three of those?"
his dad says "No, son. Today, we're niggers; the Mexicans are going first."
@andthen: 9/10
can anyone say michael jackson?
Last edited:
kiraownsurmom
Man Points: Over 9000
Kid in my class: "what do you call a black pilot?"
My friend: "air Jordon?"
that was the best response ever,the kid was serious but my friend thought it was a joke
i dont remember where i heard this:
2 arabs coming to america go to a bar for their last night there
the 1st arab says "oh man now we have to learn english"
the 2nd arab says "no no were going to america we have to learn spanish"
My friend: "air Jordon?"
that was the best response ever,the kid was serious but my friend thought it was a joke
i dont remember where i heard this:
2 arabs coming to america go to a bar for their last night there
the 1st arab says "oh man now we have to learn english"
the 2nd arab says "no no were going to america we have to learn spanish"
Demon Slayer
Jay
4/10 i didn't really get it though
One day a young boy goes to his father and ask him: "Daddy, what's the government?" The father says to his boy," Well let me explain it this way. I am the one that makes us live here in the house, so i am the president. Your mother she would be the government. The nanny would be the working class. You would be the people. And your baby brother would be the future." So with that in mind, the boy goes to bed. Later that night he gets woken up by his brother, who had made a mess in his dippers. He wanted help so he goes to his parents room and find his mother sleeping. He then walks to the Nannies room and realize the door was lock..when he looked into the key hole, he found his father in bed with the Nanny. Disappointed that he could not have found help, he returns to bed. The next morning, he goes to his father and says "Daddy i think i understand what Politics and Government is." his father, smiling, says : "Oh really, well explain to me what you know." the Boy says :
"The government is sleeping, the president is screwing the working class. The people are being ignored and the future is in deep crap.
One day a young boy goes to his father and ask him: "Daddy, what's the government?" The father says to his boy," Well let me explain it this way. I am the one that makes us live here in the house, so i am the president. Your mother she would be the government. The nanny would be the working class. You would be the people. And your baby brother would be the future." So with that in mind, the boy goes to bed. Later that night he gets woken up by his brother, who had made a mess in his dippers. He wanted help so he goes to his parents room and find his mother sleeping. He then walks to the Nannies room and realize the door was lock..when he looked into the key hole, he found his father in bed with the Nanny. Disappointed that he could not have found help, he returns to bed. The next morning, he goes to his father and says "Daddy i think i understand what Politics and Government is." his father, smiling, says : "Oh really, well explain to me what you know." the Boy says :
"The government is sleeping, the president is screwing the working class. The people are being ignored and the future is in deep crap.
Marioman
Locke likes oranges
^AHAHAHA hilarious 10/10....learn how to spell diapers :wink:
kiraownsurmom
Man Points: Over 9000
pizza
Demon Slayer
Jay
I was just about to say Pie, but it could be Pizza as well...maybe it's a very big Peanut.
anyways i heard this one a long time ago, in DBZ it's a boring joke but it made me laugh anyways
" You can tune a piano, but you can't "tuna fish" Ah ha ah ahahaha boy that sucked
anyways i heard this one a long time ago, in DBZ it's a boring joke but it made me laugh anyways
" You can tune a piano, but you can't "tuna fish" Ah ha ah ahahaha boy that sucked
Dorkfish
I'm Good at Games
It should be 2", and its you peICKLEFirefrost said:
