Days Passed Away RP preview and sign up thread

[Splash_King]

Now now Tampa, let the big boys do what they're doin'. You mosey back on into a thread where you know what's what, now. Go on, git.

D:

Awww....

I need constructive criticism, what do you dislike?

I'll be tearin' your entire SU apart if ya really want me to give ya my opinion, bro. =/

I find it his character just fine. Admittedly if he left her personality the way it was before things went wrong I'd be a bit skeptical about it, having a character a bit too close to a typical anime girl character in an RP like this.

I find it "too typical anime bullshit" the way it is as now, as well as prior to all that turn of events. Quite unfitting for the RP, I'd say.

 

[WiiAssasin]

I still can't get over the "military Canada" and "Mexican China" that have no problems with their borders and can even secure the ocean. Then again, it's an RP.

 

[Mr. MR]

I still can't get over the "military Canada" and "Mexican China" that have no problems with their borders and can even secure the ocean. Then again, it's an RP.

Me to

also the outside world would be on the verge of collapse. Without America, the world economy would be down the drain

 

[Neosquid]

I'll be tearin' your entire SU apart if ya really want me to give ya my opinion, bro. =/

Just be polite about it? ^^;

 

[Mr. MR]

Just be polite about it? ^^;

Bluntness gets the job done Neosquid

 

[WiiAssasin]

I find it "too typical anime bullshit" the way it is as now, as well as prior to all that turn of events. Quite unfitting for the RP, I'd say.

Look on the bright side. It could be a hellavulot worse.

 

[Splash_King]

^ Me, look on the bright side? Never. :lol:

also the outside world would be on the verge of collapse. Without America, the world economy would be down the drain

Always found that ironic since 'Merica's economy is often down the drain itself. :lol:

Just be polite about it? ^^;

Some things are better off left unsaid, bro.

 

[Neosquid]

Gah, just say it, I dunno what's so bad about it. >.<

 

[Mr. MR]

Always found that ironic since 'Merica's economy is often down the drain itself. :lol:

America is pretty well off compared to Europe
I mean, look at Greece

 

[Pichu2k7]

America is pretty well off compared to Europe
I mean, look at Greece

I don't know how much trouble they've caused for the rest of us here but soon they're gonna get the boot if they don't get their act together and start making it.

 

[Splash_King]

So be it, Nicky. As ya wish.

Spoiler

Double post cause this is my SU. Please let me know if there's anything wrong with it, I think I read everything I needed to.

Who do we have signed up so far?

Name: Maya Dreavus (Nickname: Siren)

Gender: Female

Alias: None

Age: 19

Alliance: Ex Ghost Soldier/ Survivor

Appearance: A beautiful young woman with light grey, long hair. She has blue eyes, and a very pale face. Her breast size is about average, not really big but not flat either. She wears a white top, and has a black leather jacket with white diamond patterns over it. She wears a red skirt with black diamond patterns that reaches down to her knees, and under this she wears short white sweatshorts. She wears black tennis shoes.

She used to have pink hair (screw being realistic!) and a less pale face, but the amount of stress she has gone through has drastically dulled her.

Weapon of choice: A pure black katana with a big red diamond on the end of the hilt. Skilled at throwing knives as well, as such she carries some with her.

Biography: For most of her life, Maya was a happy, bubbly, silly, social, fun loving girl. She was kind to everyone and was almost never seen unhappy. She knew how to cheer anyone up. She was very interested in animals and nature. For fun, she would sing, dance, play dress up, and other girly things. However, she could be a bit of a tomboy as well, being interested in some sports, sword fighting, and more. She tried hunting, but she couldn't stand killing innocent animals for sport.

She was also very close to her older brother Grey. Grey was the polar opposite of her; shy and somewhat depressed. He was still hardworking and kind, however.

Her father was an important figure in BioCorp, being high up in rank. Grey had volunteered be one of the first Ghost Soldiers, and underwent intense training with his father. Their father put a lot of his time, effort, and money into training and testing Grey. However, a fatal accident occurred during testing that cost Grey his life. Maya and her father were both hit hard by this, and BioCorp was going to fire her dad for failing to present a Ghost Soldier. To prevent her family from going bankrupt, Maya volunteered in Grey's place. She was 16.

After being infected with Necroenza and Lebenamien, there was no immediate affect on her personality or her strength. However, in time, she started to escape from her depressed caused by her brothers death. She became happy again. She started becoming extremely unstable and violent, and her physical ability was drastically increased. Eventually it became so bad where she jumped through a brick wall and attacked her father. Her father was gravely injured, and died soon after. Maya was captured by BioCorp, and it was determined that her feeling too many happy emotions caused her to become extremely violent and powerful. She lost almost all of her free will and turned into a killing machine. The scientists decided that the only safe way out was to either kill her, or inject her with medication that made her much more depressed. The later was chosen. For the rest of her life, Maya would have to take this medication and be starved of happiness, or else turn into a mindless monster.

Since Maya's mother had died a long time ago, and her bother and father had died recently, Maya was kept under the care of BioCorp for about 10 months. Maya began to grow extremely hateful towards them. They took away her ability to be happy, and they took away her father and brother. She ran away, outside into the land overrun by zombies, to fend for herself. She took with her some food, water, weapons, and enough medicine to keep her depressed for a long time.

She vows to get revenge on BioCorp somehow, and also wants to rid the land of the horrid zombies.

Personality: In her current state, she is quite depressed and quiet. She is quite shy and gloomy, and constantly insults herself and others.

However, if she is deprived of her medicine for long enough and managed to become happy enough, she will become insane. She will take pleasure in killing innocent people and animals, and loses all her self control.

Prolouge: I'll decide this soon enough, k? First off, where are we gonna start? I guess I'll read back a little bit.

___________________________________________

So what do you guys think? This is the first female character that I've ever RP'd as, for the record. Let's hope we can keep this alive, I want as many people as possible to join.

Firstly, you intentionally "screwed being realistic" in an RP that isn't all about lasers, 9001, magic, etc. Anyone can give me the "zombies aren't realistic!" argument, don't matter. Days Passed Away is essentially pseudo-realistic. I'm not sayin' that the appearance and choice of weaponry is what dooms your character (a high-tech company with access to militia grade weaponry, and their own specialized tech has you wielding a ****in' sword against zombies? REALLY?), but any character that doesn't reflect the story properly takes away from it oh-so slightly. And such things can add up to make an RP very mediocre, very quickly.

Next, plain 'n simple personality break through traumatic experiences is retardedly overplayed. There's a difference between that, and a tragic hero/villain.

The last thing I wanna cover is the confliction of character traits. Maya isn't bi-polar, she's emotionally driven by plot device. Your joke of a combination between Ghirahim, that damned pony, and whatever else it was has made some quirky jokes appear in the SU. And not the comic relief kinda jokes. Just as I mentioned in the first paragraph, this is another quality that isn't very befitting to Days Passed Away.

... Again, keep in mind this rather blunt, not-so-constructive opinion (or at least, I don't feel like this little essay of mine offers much constructive criticism...) is coming from a long-retired RP elitist. Take it with a barrel of shoal salt.

 

[Neosquid]

Okay, so I'll make a new character with somewhat similar traits. =(

 

[Pichu2k7]

Here goes nothing. My first SU.

Spoiler

Name: Daniel Garnrow

Alias: None

Age: 16

Alliance: Survivor

Appearance: Young white boy that wears a black baggy pair of trousers around his waist and dons a Blue Hoody with "APEC 76" on it with a rather tacky look to it. He wears Black skating shoes which is covered is mud and are worn out from years of use. He has medium brown hair which is messy and is hardly looked after. He has a very thin and frail body structure.

Weapon of choice: Daniel uses anything he can possibly use as a weapon, currently stuck with a Golf Club from his Deceased Dad's Golf Trolley he has no specialization in any specific weapon type.

Personality: Daniel is a quiet and good hearted boy that only wanted to live a happy life, growing up in an Orphanage he became very optimistic after his parents died due to a car crash. He dislikes fighting and often hesitates with his decision making. His optimistic views and good heartedness lead to him being somewhat of a pushover but fights out of fear if he feels like his life is in danger.

Biography: Daniel was a massive tech nerd back in Scotland before his parents moved to America and died shortly afterwards in a car crash when he was only 11 years old. He was moved to an Orphanage shortly after his parents death. His skill with computers expanded in the Orphanage and he quickly learned how to become involved in illegal activities such as DDOSing and serverv hacking however his good nature quickly forced him away. When the zombies attacked the Orphanage he resides in he managed to fend off one or two with his father's favourite Golf Club which he inherited after his death. Armed with nothing but a Golf Club, a bag filled with water, food and videos he ventures out into the unknown to try and find help.

Prolouge: Daniel breathed heavily as something devoured the last adult in the Orphanage, he firmly grasped his old father's golf club with both hands. The smelly, rotting human like thing stumbled towards him as if it sensed him there. It screamed at him, Daniel screamed as he popped up and stuck the rusty nine iron into the monster's face. Quickly Removing it, feeling sick after seeing the damage he caused. He snuck into the supply closet and grabbed his bag off the coat hanger as well as his Blue hooded jumper, he stuck the jumper on and snuck into the kitchen, snatching up a few bottles of water and some food that had long sell by date's when not stored in the cold. He then grabbed the keys from the counter near the fridge and started testing all the keys on the back door to the Orphanage, after a few seconds of messing around with the keys one of them slotted into the lock, he turned the key, opening the lock. He opened the door. "How did I get myself into this mess?" He asked himself before venturing out into the unexplored completely unprepared and unaware of how bad the situation really was.

I tried to make this character as realistic as possible so I wanna hear opinions and what not. Any typo's I want pointed out as well so they can be sorted out.

 

[WiiAssasin]

Well, it looks pretty good in my eyes.

 

[Splash_King]

Okay, so I'll make a new character with somewhat similar traits. =(

... I never said to scrap the character. You might recall Storm 'n Bodine approving of your SU, yeah?