Another Funny Joke...or pic!

[BiZZaRe]

Hey i had a good idea...

So let's get started just post some funny jokes you've heard right here.(This Thread)

Okay...let me see. ut:

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

So remember if any of you have any funny jokes post em here.

 

[Beach Bum]

This bum is watching a nun while she's being mugged...
When the thieve leaves.. the bum.. looks at the nun and says :

"Batman, I'm really dissapointed! :frown2: "

 

[ThatGuy127]

Hmm...Some might have heard this, but I don't know (Nice one, by the way):

A boy went to get some pills for his dad cuz he was sick. As he walked to the doctor's, he said to himself "Sick pills, sick pills, sick pills, sicks pills, secks pills, sex pills, sex pills...."

When he got to the doctor, he asked for the sex pills, to which the doctor responded "Ok... Just remember to tell him to take one of these every twenty hours."

The boy goes on his way home, and trying to remember, says to himself "Twenty hours, twenty hours..." He takes a long pause as he sees something of interest. When he tries to remember, all he can remember was the 2, so he said "Two hours, two hours, two hours, two hours..."

When he got home and gave his dad the pills, he told him "The doctor said to take...uhh, lemme remember.... Two ever two hours." The dad looked at him quizzically but thought 'If the doctor said so...'

A week later, the doctor called his house. He asked the boy how his dad was doing. He said "Well, my mom's pregnant, my sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, my dog ran away, and my dad's going around the house saying 'Heeeeeeeere pussy, pussy, pussy....Heeeeeeeeere pussy, pussy, pussy"

 

[DBloke]

 

[BiZZaRe]

Damn...

Heres one...well 2 actually:

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.


what women would do if they had a penis for a day
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......

 

[+Maniacal=Maniac+]

^Thats Kinda Wrong,Man...^

I Freaking LOL'd At That Stamp Collecting PArt Of The First One.

 

[RedProdigy]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v458/Behe/Diverse%202005/hax.jpg

 

[RedProdigy]