Top 10 Games That Need a Sex Scene

[vashivihan]

Conan

Conan runs around in all his manliness, ripping bad guys to shreds and saving topless slave women from a fate worse than death. Shouldn't he take the time to stop for a second and give his freed captors a little piece of the Barbarian? If Kratos can do it, so can the mighty Conan.

Portal

We obviously know that the cake is a lie, so we need something else to satisfy our desire to complete Portal. How about modifying the gun for an interesting love scene where you can come up with all kinds of crazy positions? First you're on bottom, then you warp to the top. Or hey, maybe you're in both places at once. Sound crazy? That's probably because it is.

Scarface: The World Is Yours

Tony Montana says it himself. If you get the power, you get the chicas. In Scarface: The World Is Yours, he spends so much time embracing his violent side that he doesn't stop to get himself a little action. A love scene between him and a fine woman would definitely ease some tension– and she could say hello to his little friend.

Dead Rising

The world's going to hell. Zombies are crawling around everywhere, crazies wield guns and there's little chance for survival. So if Frank West is going to go out, he should go out happy. Take a half hour out of that seventy-two hour countdown and get him a last little dose of happiness – as long as it's not with a zombie chick. The biting alone would be lethal.

War of the Monsters

Incog's monster-brawling game already has the 50s kitsch going for it, along with destroyable cities and plenty of cheesy sci-fi cliches. So why not top that off with a weird little relationship between a glowing cyclops monster and a praying mantis? Make love, not war, remember? However, we do have to admit, we cringe when we think about what the kids would look like.

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed

Really, the title says it all. But just think about this for a second. What better way for Crypto to infiltrate the human race than to do it with a few ladies? He can simply change into human form, go to town, reveal his true self and then promise to never call them again. Hey, with some relationships, you just have to be honest.

Iron Man

Tony Stark already has enough on his plate. He just built himself a piece of super-armor, armed with missiles and rocket jets for flight. He battles evil forces, enemies that are even stronger than him. He needs to cool his jets, take five and show his girlfriend just what being an Iron Man is all about. He just needs to make sure his rocket doesn't go off early.

Dead Head Fred

Poor Dead Head Fred. He's had a rough day. His body feels like he's been run over by a garbage truck and then someone went and stole his freakin' head. Maybe if he had a girl to jog his memory a little bit, loosen him up and send him on his way, he could get things moving. He could even do a Dr. Cox impression to get her in the mood, since he's voiced by Scrubs star John McGinley.

Super Mario Galaxy

Hasn't Peach been teasing Mario long enough? He's saved her more than a dozen times from the clutches of Bowser or some other evil minion and he's probably getting anxious. Super Mario Galaxy would be the ideal spot for her to reward him with some kind of loving, as she could take him where no man has gone before .

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

Phoenix Wright's been through some struggles over the course of three games, working to keep his clients out of jail. He needs to drop his legal briefs and get a little contempt of court going on, either with one of his female clients or even his assistant. The words "Objection!" and "Take that!" would never be the same again.

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[Z3wpk]

Haha Niceeeee!

I agree with the Dead Rising and Phoenix Wright ones. Lol.

 

[iOwnage]

They were kidding about Super Mario Galaxy, right?

 

[DBloke]

Oh goody

Another copy paste without any poster comments

Its made by somebody that has never seen Internet rule 34 in action

 

[Celeste]

I agree with Super Mario Galaxy.

Mario has saved that ***** so many times. Tits or GTFO.

 

[DBloke]

I agree with Super Mario Galaxy.

Mario has saved that ***** so many times. Tits or GTFO.

Your kidin right

Peach has A LOT of pics of her with her baps out

 

[Celeste]

Not for Mario to see though right? On the intarwebz.
After all he does for her, she can at least flash if she won't put out.

</random mood>

 

[Napalmbrain]

Oh goody

Another copy paste without any poster comments

Its made by somebody that has never seen Internet rule 34 in action

Unfortunately, I know all about rule 34. But Portal porn? I'm too curious to resist.

EDIT: And now I regret it.

 

[DBloke]

I got some clean/funny ones



Happyness and sadness is when you see Bully - the god of darts with his thing out

 

[Clarke]

Portal

We obviously know that the cake is a lie, so we need something else to satisfy our desire to complete Portal. How about modifying the gun for an interesting love scene where you can come up with all kinds of crazy positions? First you're on bottom, then you warp to the top. Or hey, maybe you're in both places at once. Sound crazy? That's probably because it is.

 

[Milton.S]

Lol excellent.
Big Willy Unleashed. That's just asking for trouble.

 

[DBloke]

For those that dont know

Rule 34 is one of the more graphic rules to have made the list.
This rule states that, regardless of what it is -- "it" being, for example, Care Bears, statues, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Fraggle Rock, Dora the Explorer, etc. -- it is possible to find pornographic material consisting of it.
On rare occasions, on the /b/ boards, people will declare that there is no such thing as porn of (insert undemolished childhood memory here). Then, /b/ takes it on as a mission to find -- and, in some cases, create -- said porn (in accordance with Rule 35). Eventually, the thread dissolves into random pictures of normally innocent characters, or other random things (e.g., AT-ATs from Star Wars). These pictures are commonly accompanied by the message "This is the sound of your childhood dying."
Surely enough, such threads severely scar and demolish the minds and treasured memories of those /b/tards unfortunate enough to see them.
This rule is a pronounced example of /b/'s aim to become the terminal cancer of the Internet and is surely a sign of progress in this epic journey.
The rule itself states it, in an oddly disturbing way: "(If it exists,) There is porn of it. No exceptions"
**** has a dedicated /34/ board, where people request porn of absurd characters, and other people respond with complaints that it's too easy to find porn of that particular character and then don't provide any.

 

[Wii_BrEnDo2007]

gotta love rule 34 :lol:

 

[Z3wpk]

gotta love rule 34 sometimes :lol:

I edited your post cause you forgot a word. :lol:

 

[skidmarx]

Aww Conan. There's not enough time in the world to mention all the random wenches he scored with :lol: nice article.