My Super Mario Bros. Story

[ninnie x]

Hello, peeps, I'm working on a Super Mario Bros. Book called "Super Mario Bros: The Block of Mystery. Here's what I have so far:

Mario jumped over a spinning Koopa Shell as Luigi stomped on a passerby Goomba.
"Cheesh", said Mario. "Doesn't Bowser ever quit?"
"I know what you mean", said Luigi, rolling his eyes. "Next thing you know were gonna be walking into his castle, wishing we never met Peach".
"Yeah..."

"Toad! I need a smaller dress!", shouted Peach, glaring at her bedroom mirror.
"Right away, Princess", said Toad. Peach had been invited to a fashion party at Daisy's mansion, and she wanted everything to be perfect.
"TOAD!!!", shouted Peach.
Toad ran into the room with a pink, sparkling dress waving in his hands.
"How's this, Princess?", he asked.
"Fine", said Peach. "Let's go!"

I'll be editing the story every other day. Post your suggestions for it on the thread, or PM them to me!

 

[King Wiired]

Too little writing, too much speech.

 

[LevesqueIsKing]

Agreed. the beginning of a story should be mostly text imo. You need to explain the setting and the plot, along with the problem later on.

 

[Wii_BrEnDo2007]

so far so good