JoKeS!

[Kelso]

So i did a bit of a search and i couldent find a thread for just any jokes. So here it is. :lol: I want to hear/see anything funny. Jokes, pics, AnYtHiNg! On any topic. :thumbsup: Because lets face it... everybody needs a good laugh now and then!

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So there is my first contribution, thanks to the halerious site... http://www.explosm.net/

 

[Riviet]

That first one was pretty good. :lol:

Can't think of my favourites at the moment, will post them up later when I do.

 

[Kelso]

hehe oh i love this site...

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[DBloke]

http://www.wiichat.com/lounge/1319-jokes-thread.html?highlight=joke
Been done

 

[Kelso]

dang, there really should b an easyer way 2 find threads. or mabey i just suck lol. [1st time posting from my wii, yay]

 

[Starfire]

Don't laugh!" said the patient, Fred.

"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over
twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," Fred said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the
tiniest 'hoo-ha' the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger
than the size of an AAA battery.

Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling then fell laughing to
the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain
his composure. "I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't
know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman...I promise
it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Fred replied...

 

[Starfire]

Joe woke up one morning immensely aroused; so he turned over to his
>wife's >side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened
though,
>and she >was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid
that
>he might >spoil things by getting up, Joe called his little boy into
>the room and >asked him to take this note to his "beautiful Mommy."

>The note read:
>The Tent Pole Is Up,
>The Canvas Is Spread,
>The Hell With Breakfast,
>Come Back To Bed.

>Heather, grinning, answered the note and then asked her son to take
>this to >Daddy.


>Her note read:
>Take The Tent Pole Down,
>Put The Canvas Away,
>The Monkey Had A Hemorrhage,
>No Circus Today.

>Joe read the note and quickly scribbled a reply. Then, he asked his
>son to >take it back to "the lady in the kitchen."

>His note read:
>The Tent Pole's Still Up,
>And The Canvas Still Spread,
>So Drop What You are Doing,
>And Come Give Me Some Head.

>Laughing, Heather answered the note and then asked her son to take
this to "the poor dude upstairs."

>Her note read:
>I'm Sure That Your Pole's
>The Best In The Land.
>But I'm Busy Right Now,
>Do It By Hand!!!!!!!

 

[Starfire]

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one
>>side.
>> >
>> > "When I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got
>>home
>> >was
>> >take off my trousers," he said. "I gave them to your mother and
>>told her to
>>
>> >put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she said
>>to me
>> >that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large. I
>>told her,
>> >of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in this family and
>>I always
>> >will. Ever since that day, we have never had a single problem."
>> >
>> > Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got Jill alone
>>after
>> >the
>> >wedding, he did the same thing, took off his trousers, gave them
>>to Jill
>> >and told her to put them on. Jill said that the trousers were too
>>big and
>> >she couldn't possibly wear them. "Exactly," replied Jack. "I wear
>>the
>> >trousers in this relationship and I always will. I don't want you
>>to forget
>>
>> >that."
>> >
>> > Jill paused and removed her knickers and gave them to Jack.
>>"Try
>> >these
>> >on," she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.
>> >
>> > "I can't possibly get into your knickers," said Jack.
>>"Exactly,"
>> >replied
>> >Jill. "And if you don't change your f*cking attitude, you never
>>will."

 

[DBloke]

DONT TRIPLE POST USE THE FUGIN EDIT

I just typed in joke and theres a few older threads about it

 

[Starfire]

will stop there else i will be posting jokes all night.

 

[Starfire]

DONT TRIPLE POST USE THE FUGIN EDIT

I just typed in joke and theres a few older threads about it

well excuse me!!

and theres no need to shout either.

and what does fugin mean???

 

[Matt90]

lol, you just double-posted again.

 

[Kelso]

dont worry starfire i double post sometimes to. sry we arnt all pros here. besides if they are 2 unrelated ideas y put them on 1 post.

 

[Riviet]

I just typed in joke and theres a few older threads about it

I guess it never hurts to start the new year with a new thread.

What do Wii and US have in common?

Spoiler

They are both plural

Why was the dog disappointed with its Wii?

Spoiler

Because the wiimote didn't have a pause button

 

[Kelso]

haha plus there is never enough laughter in the world
i'll prob. keep posting all my fav cyanide and happiness comics lol... i have a whole folder of great ones